Thanks, special new friend. I owe you one.

Dear Anonymous Stranger,

Thank you for the extra special treat you left by my car yesterday.

Imagine my delight, if you will, at discovering your thoughtful little present just moments after loading my groceries into the back of the car, as I was sitting down contentedly in the driver's seat.

It is unfortunate that I did not discover it before I actually put my foot on the brake. For had I found your ball of already-chewed delight sooner, it would have enabled me to enjoy it only on the bottom of my shoe. Instead, it was added special fun to scrape the pink sticky mess off the brake pedal AND my shoe.

You know, this piece of sanitary deliciousness THAT CAME FROM YOUR MOUTH. WHERE YOUR SPIT LIVES.

I can appreciate that it was especially tiring for you that day, what with having to use all three of your brain cells to walk and chew at the same time. And I know the extra energy that it would have taken to walk ten feet and toss your treasure in a garbage can was really more than society could have asked of you.

What with you being, you know, a selfish pig and all.

So, please. From the bottom of my heart, accept my honest and sincere thanks.

It's been a long time since I've cleaned up anything quite so sticky, seeing as how my kids are in school all day now. And honestly, it was a thrill to get some more practice at it.

Yours,

Christie
____________________

P.S. In spite of the apparent sarcasm, I am ever mindful of the horrific events that took place seven years ago today. You can read my experience with that day again here. God bless America.

"Mawage is what bwings us togevah, today."

I was reading one of my favorite blogs today, and was very excited to hear that Nicole is getting married. She was asking her readers for marriage advice, and it got me thinking.

What would I say to this goofy-looking girl, knowing what I know now, after almost 15 years of marriage?


I'd say a lot, that's what. Least of which would be to stop perming her hair already. Oh, and grow those bangs out a little while she's at it. I'm pretty sure there should never be a one-inch space between your eyebrows and your bangs. Oy.

So I thought it would be fun to write a letter to myself with a few of the tidbits that have helped me along the way:
__________________________________

Dear Me,

You are about to get married to a tall, skinny boy from the other side of town. He loves you all right, but he has no idea yet just how much he needs you, and you him.

You may think you want babies right away, but don't rush yourself. Enjoy this time when it's just the two of you. THE BABIES WILL COME. And once they do, they will never leave. And they will smell sometimes. And pee on you (and yet you will still love them). Stop wishing this time away, because in a blink, it will be gone, and you will find yourself a mother of three, with a road map of stretch marks to prove it.

In spite of what everyone will tell you, it is okay to go to bed mad at each other. Sometimes it's better, as hurtful words are not said, and cooler heads always prevail in the morning.

You are not really that great of a cook. I'm sorry to break that to you. You can bake like nobody's business, but cooking meat is not really your thing. And when you're making gravy one night in your first apartment? Don't add the paprika. Trust me on this one. The gravy will turn pink, and will be thoroughly disgusting. Your sweet husband will eat it anyway, but you will have just given him something to tease you about. Forever.

Do not be critical of your spouse, and expect the same in return from him. Never badmouth him to your friends. Instead, brag about all his good qualities. It will help you to constantly see the good in him, of which there is a lot.

Learn to pick your battles. I can promise you that after almost 15 years, he will still sling his suit over the back of a chair at the end of a long day. YOU WILL NOT FIX THIS. Stop trying. Just get over it, and be glad he is willing to work so hard for you and your family. Focus instead on ways you can make it easier for him to do his demanding job.

You must also accept that you will be ignored on Saturday afternoons from late August through November, as he will ALWAYS want to watch his favorite team play football. It is nothing personal. It is just a strange part of this man that you will never understand. Instead, get a hobby or a good book and enjoy your alone time.

Lastly, remember this: Men are like puppies; a little praise and a treat goes a long way in training them to do what you want.

With love,

You, age 34.
_______________________________

What's your best marital advice, internets? Do share.

Perfect, ordinary simplicity

Today I wake up to the happy chatter of my kids, already at the breakfast table. The alarm has failed to go off, but the Husband is in town this morning, and has cheerfully gotten them started.

I come downstairs, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I kiss each baby on top of their head, smelling the strawberry shampoo. I cannot help but notice Hannah's 'creative' outfit combination. I decide to save that battle for another day. I briefly wonder if her teacher will think I picked it. I decide to not care if she does.

I shuffle over in my slippers and give the Husband a sheepish hug. He smiles, dimples creasing and blue eyes sparkling, and for the millionth time in my life, I fall in love with him all over again.

I take the morning poll of who is buying lunch and who is bringing. I laugh when two of the three get excited for chicken patty on a bun, which sounds thoroughly disgusting to me.

At once, they realize today is Friday, and squeal with glee because this means they get to have music with "Eddie," a man who is probably way too cool to be an elementary school teacher. I wonder if he knows just how much the entire studentbody worships him.

I remind them to pack snacks, and laugh at Chase who always wants to bring candy. I clean up the breakfast dishes and do Hannah's hair. She chatters away, filling me in for the umpteenth time on everyone and everything that happens in the first grade. I say a prayer of hope she talks to me like this forever.

I stand at the door and wave when the bus goes by. It still makes me smile that they want me to wave, but do not want me at the bus stop. Stretching their independence, but still wanting to know I'm there. I close the door and go start sorting the laundry. I think about the fresh peaches in the fridge and decide to surprise them all with a pie this afternoon.

I hop on the treadmill and run to a couple old episodes of "The Office," and laugh hysterically because they are all new to me.

I sit and sweat, drinking the cold, crisp water from the fridge. I feel strong. I feel content.

I find that my heart is full and tears threaten to spill over, as I think of the perfect, ordinary simplicity that is my happy life. I know that this is the place I am meant to be.

I feel blessed.

Because I need to know I'm bringing at least one of them up right

[Hannah, in the left front corner. First day photo courtesy of her fabulous teacher]

Today, the Princess came home from school and said the words that set my heart all a flutter:

"I don't know why, but I love to keep my school supplies neat and organized. It really helps me to feel so happy inside."

I am now 100 percent convinced we got the right baby at the hospital.

She had me worried for a few years there, what with her unbridled love of all things pink and High School Musical, but now I am sure.

She is so mine it's scary.

Labor Day, Christie style

This year, I decided to celebrate Labor Day by rewarding myself for having given birth three times. Yes, I realize it was a long time ago. No, that doesn't make it any less painful.

That's what we celebrate Labor Day for, right?

I mean honestly, do you think Mother's Day makes up for the fact that I voluntarily split my heinie in half? And did it three times, one of those without an epidural? No, it doesn't. Which is why, this past Labor day, I was found in Branson doing this:

With them:
Instead of them:

I'm pretty sure the mother of the year plaque won't bear my name this year. Oh well. It was totally worth it.

This weekend, there was a lot of:

Laughing
Eating
You Tube searching
Flashing grill wearing
Shopping
Boating
Journey worshipping
Tennis playing

There was not a lot of:

Sleeping
Cooking
Cleaning (unless your name is Butch and you are the maid. Then there was definitely a lot of cleaning that took place).

A most excellent way to spend a holiday. Thanks, girls. It was a great weekend. Let's do it again soon.

Like tomorrow. Anyone?

Oh, and Katie? This one's for you: "They never take them off!"

Here I come, chocolate in hand, to one lucky winner

Well, interpeeps, I am mighty impressed.

Some of you really like to watch movies (like me). Some of you? Not so much into the remembering of the lines. Why is that?

The Husband thinks I'm a freak. He can't remember what happened last week, let alone in a movie. And it boggles his mind that I always remember the obscure lines from a movie I saw years ago.

Yes, it's a disease.

No, I don't care.

So, here are the answers of the next 11 movies I expect to see in your Netflix que:

1. As Good As It Gets
Who doesn't love Jack Nicholson as Melvin Udall in this movie? He's just so insane that you find you actually relate to him. Admit it. You love him.

2. When Harry Met Sally
My other favorite line in that movie is "I'll have what she's having," but the scene at the end on New Years Eve is the best. Who knew we'd one day find Billy Crystal slightly attractive? Maybe that's what makes this movie so perfect.

3. Braveheart
Although, the line is also in "Shawshank Redemption," another of my favorites, I did write the quiz with a chiseled Mel Gibson wearing blue face paint in mind. An excellent, inspiring (albeit a teensy bit violent) movie.

4. Love Actually
One of my all-time favorite movies, and I just adore this line said by the often underestimated Alan Rickman. Snape character aside, I sure wouldn't complain if he got crumbs in the bed, you know what I mean? For his full deliciousness, re-watch him in "Sense and Sensibility." You will love him forever after his tender portrayal of Colonel Brandon.

5. Usual Suspects
Brilliant movie, total twist at the end. You will NEVER see it coming. Love it.

6. Pride & Prejudice
One cannot help but love Elizabeth for saying out loud that, yeah, a guy with money is pretty attractive, even if he's a little bit of a jerk. Hands-down, a lifetime favorite for me.

7. The Departed
NOBODY knew this one. It's a great movie, one most especially appreciated if you ever lived in Boston. A little heavy on the F-bombs, but still worth a watch. Another surprise ending you don't see coming.

8. Bridget Jones Diary
Ah, the ever delicious Colin Firth. I like you, too. Just as you are. Please call me, okay? And when you come, bring your Mr. Darcy costume. So, we can, uh, be sure of its quality, uh, workmanship. Yeah, that's it.

9. Steel Magnolias
Some of the best movie lines EVER come from this movie. I could do a post on just this movie alone. A classic, in its own right, for sure. It is one that must be passed down through the generations, just like a favorite old quilt or a set of dishes. I can't wait to share it with my little Hannah someday.

10. Terms of Endearment
Nobody guessed this one, either. This is probably my ALL-TIME-FAVORITE Jack Nicholson moment ever. I like it so much that I had to find the clip for you to watch. It's a little long, so if you are impatient (cough*Daniel*cough), then skip to about 5:19 and watch until 7:00 or so, you will see why I included it here. So very Jack. So unexpected from his character, yet also so befitting. It's my favorite part in the whole movie. Oh, and when you do watch this movie, you will need about eight boxes of Kleenex. I'm just sayin'.



Bonus: Good Will Hunting
A great movie, and an even greater line for the movie to end on. Makes me cry every.single.time. I love it.

Oh, and the random winner of the prize? I put all the numbers in a hat and had my kids pick one out. They picked:

Comment number 24..................GABI

Lucky for you, I already have your address. I will put myself in a box (with chocolate, of course) and be there overnight via FedEx. Please have a large stack of movies waiting.

Thanks for playing!