The story of the pants
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One day a lovely pair of pants was sitting at home over Christmas vacation. Seen here:
Okay. Maybe the pants really looked like this:
This kind-hearted, but rotund pair of pants took her daughter to see a movie. As rotund pants are known to do on occasion, and most certainly over Christmas break, this one indulged in a few movie treats.
While watching the previews, the daughter of the rotund pair of pants remembered that she had to use the restroom. The pair of pantses got up together, leaving their snacks to save their spots.
They returned minutes later, just in time for the movie, and sat down to enjoy the show.
Tragically, what the rotund pair of pants did not know, was that a few junior mints had fallen out of the box and landed onto the seat while she was getting up to walk to the bathroom. When she returned to the dark theater, she sat down, completely unaware of the sinister misfortune that had just befallen her. It looked sort of exactly like this:
The rotund pair of pants and her daughter ran many errands after the movie. They went to the Home Depot. To Sam's Club. Even to the Target. Stores where, to their delight, they ran into no less than FOUR of their acquaintances over the course of the afternoon.
Her children found the predicament as funny as did their father.
The moral of the story is this:
No more movie treats.Check rear end of the pants after every snackNever run errands without a full body scan and/or spare pants in the car.Ignore friends at the store in case pants are stained in a poo-like manner
Okay. Maybe the pants really looked like this:
They returned minutes later, just in time for the movie, and sat down to enjoy the show.
The rotund pair of pants and her daughter ran many errands after the movie. They went to the Home Depot. To Sam's Club. Even to the Target. Stores where, to their delight, they ran into no less than FOUR of their acquaintances over the course of the afternoon.
It was not until about ten o'clock that evening that our rotund pair of pants discovered the ill-placed junior mints. Her expression was something like this:
When her sensitive Husband found out about her misfortune, he showed her all the sympathy he was capable of.
Her children found the predicament as funny as did their father.
Naturally, the owner of the rotund (and now very stained) pants found very little humor in the situation.
There is no moral. It's just one more Story of Shame to add to my ever-growing collection. Which, sadly, as my friend Kathy asked me the other night, are all true.
