Inadvertently working the assets

This morning at the unholy hour of six-forty, the phone rang.

Cursing and stumbling, I answered the call.

It was our [soon to be] new plumber. The one we asked to come give us a bid on some work we're doing on the upstairs of our house. Big work. Messy work. Work that will ultimately result in very good things [eventually].

He was calling to let me know that he was five minutes out. As in, I will be at your front door in five minutes. No matter that you're still in bed, sporting the filth that is morning mouth, and you are not dressed.

I flew out of bed and scrambled to throw some clothes on. Opting to spend my time brushing my teeth in lieu of putting on a bra, I went for the multi-layered/here's hoping it's enough to hide the girls look. My tops felt a little twisted, weird, and out of place, but the doorbell rang, and I had no more time to worry about it.

Plumber came and went. Gave me just the news I was hoping to hear: Yes, what you're planning here will be fine. I can totally do that.

[Still waiting on the news I don't want to hear: The cost.]

But a few minutes later when I happened to walk by a mirror, I nearly died at the sight.

Apparently, as I was hurriedly dressing, I missed the sleeve hole on one of my layers, resulting in a tangled mess of shirts on my torso.

Aaaaaaand it was configured in such a way so that the only thing standing between the plumber and one of my bosoms was a thin layer of cotton.

A very see-through layer of cotton.

[Apparently, I have the subconscious desire to show off my bits and pieces. Remember the horror?]

Do you think it will be enough to at least get us a discount on the plumbing?

Photoshopping up a big batch of trouble

Question: What happens when there is a Saturday football game on television, and a certain someone's husband is ignoring them busy watching it, leaving that certain someone with a lot of free time on her hands?

Trouble, that's what.

Well, remember this gorgeous girl?



And this gorgeous boy?


Well, what if I happen to know that a secret not-so-secret wish of both their mother's hearts is that this someday were to happen?

Names were changed to protect the victims innocent, but let's just say that if this blessed event were to take place in, oh, a little over two year's time, two women I know would be overjoyed.

I'd simply be overjoyed at the sheer perfection of their combined genes and the gorgeous babies they'd have together, leaving me to beg and plead to photograph them daily.

But for now, the ball is in your court, Justin & Rachel. Just know that we've got the invites all ready to go, and neither one of you had to even be in the same place at the same time.

A cheery thought on a Monday, I'd say.