Killing myself, one extension cord at a time

Today, I...
  • Played tennis for two hours (even though I really suck at it)
  • Did six loads of laundry
  • Cleaned four bathrooms
  • Vacuumed two floors
  • Pulled 1,934 weeds from my backyard
  • Cursed weeds with eight different swear words (oh yes, I know that many)
  • Screamed when I discovered a large spider on my bosom
  • Killed large spider after knocking it off my bosom
  • Looked down my cleavage and examined my bosom for any other lingering spiders
  • Smiled sheepishly when the old lady next door caught me doing it
  • Happily discovered I have strawberry plants growing in my backyard
  • Moved three evergreen bushes to a different flower bed because I felt like it
  • Trimmed all the hedges in my yard
  • Accidentally severed the Husband's extension cord while trimming the hedges
  • Buried extension cord in the trash so that the Husband will never see it
  • Wondered aloud if you can die of electrocution when severing live wires
  • Starting searching for landscapers to prevent future death by electrocution
  • Read and commented on a few blogs
  • Wrote my own (albeit pathetic) blog post, and
  • Decided to be content with re-heating Thai food leftovers for dinner

Today, I did not:
  • Shower (yet, but I will)
  • Read novels
  • See movies
  • Cook dinner, or
  • Eat 14 cookies (unlike yesterday)

I am thinking it has been a productive day thus far. Especially considering that it's a Monday.