Flash back to our fictional, imaginary heroine, who is beautiful, has flawless skin, and long, luxurious hair. She is so thin that models come seeking her advice on weight loss, and her mailbox is constantly full of love notes from the chiseled perfection that is Daniel Craig.
Admittedly, I might have gotten carried away with that last bit.
ANYway, upon noticing the smoking chimney staring her down, she immediately threw her car into reverse and drove around the block like the chicken that she is. After about ten minutes, she went back to the DMV with her husband's forged signature, and stood in what was now a very long line.
She, whoever she may be, is definitely not as brave as some of you fine people who would willingly forge their husband's signature while staring down the chain-smoking psychos of the DMV.
But our heroine was able to successfully register her new vehicle and is thrilled to finally have license plates.
She is mourning the loss of a gazillion billion dollars from her bank account, however.
And I feel certain that our heroine would choose to drown her sorrows in a diet coke from Sonic and a mini twix bar.
Who can waste calories on a Twinkie anyway? Especially with that delicious Daniel Craig just lying around . . .