mixed up legs



Hannah (as a lot of 4-year-olds have been known to do) frequently puts her shoes on the wrong feet.

She did it today, and I gave my usual comment, "Your shoes are on the wrong feet. Does that matter?" (Because most days it doesn't matter to her).

Exasperated, she replied, "It's not my shoes. My legs are on the wrong feet. THAT'S THE PROBLEM, MOM!"

Clearly, I was mistaken. If only we could find a way to switch those legs around so she'd be more comfortable...

for love of the game

Josh was able to make McKay's baseball game tonight, arriving about halfway through. McKay, seeing his father pull up, eagerly ran over from the dugout for a high-five and a hello.

Josh says, "Hey, Mack, what's the score?"

McKay: "I think it's tied or something. We're doing just AWESOME."

McKay then runs back to the dugout and rejoins his team.

Josh turns to me, "So, what's the score?"

Me: "The score is 7 to 1. We're 1."

Because it's not about whether you win or lose.

It's about goofing off in the dugout with a bunch of squirley boys your age, adjusting your new cup every ten seconds because it's JUST! SO! UNCOMFORTABLE!, and diving like mad when you're up to bat (after all, it is kid pitch this year, and yes, he's already been hit).

battle of the white trash clans (also known as: when I pray the tourists will stay home next time)

My kids have half-days all this week due to parent/teacher conferences (OH GOODY was my first reaction), but we made the most of it by heading to the beach. The past couple of days have been unseasonably warm. And not just warm, but HOT. Lovely, gloriously, freakishly hot. I'm talking at least 80 degrees today.

So I'm enjoying the beach, sitting under the umbrella, rubbing my feet in the sand . I look up to see a large group of people practically setting up camp on the beach. These were an unsavory-looking group - chock full of mullets, tattoos, wife-beater tank tops, black levis and Motley Crue t-shirts (yes, black levis on the beach - go figure?). I watched in amusement as it took four of them to put up their umbrella. With ghetto-blaster rocking (didn't know anyone even had ghetto-blasters anymore), they were all set. Pretty soon, out came the case of beer.

Which they consumed in all of ten minutes.

Thankfully, one couple was able to stop making out long enough to make a beer run.

Well, wouldn't you know it - here comes another group. They looked so much like the first ones, you would have thought they were related/inbred cousins. And with the beach practically deserted, they wisely, and ever-so-thoughtfully, chose to set their blankets up about 10 feet from the first group.

Only the second group wasn't so keen on the beer drinking (which is actually illegal at this beach). They also didn't like the loud metal music blasting from the stereo (shocker - I would have thought it was right up their alley). Not too politely, the one with the most tattoos asked them to turn their music down.

Just in time for beer-run couple to return with more beer. Upon which, they were not so thrilled that the Metallica was being turned down. They responded by playing the music so loud that even the seagulls drowned themselves just to make it stop.

This led to a hilarious back-and-forth name calling/stuff struttin'/chain smoking/beer drinking/'you-talkin'-to me?' power struggle between the rival clans.

The battle came to a close when the park ranger pulled up and came down on them for the liquor. I was hoping for a Jerry Springer-style battle in which they pulled hair, shouted obscenities, and lifted up their shirts to show off the goods.

Maybe next time.

last week's lessons (a little delayed)...

  • When Josh says he's sick, HE'S TRULY SICK.
  • When Josh is sick, he probably should not drive himself to the doctor.
  • Josh + a 105-degree fever + an ER visit = ONE BAD WEEK.
  • Friends who will sit with you all night in the ER are friends to keep around forever.
  • Little League Opening Day ceremonies, in which they announce all 400 players individually by name, will take HOURS. Skipping this event next year would not be such a bad thing.
  • Girl scout cookies are of the devil and will taunt me with their yummy, satanic deliciousness.
  • When the cable box goes haywire and works only in black-and-white, the children will assume this is how I watched t.v. as a little girl.
  • The children will need to be educated that I am a YOUNG mom and was privileged to enjoy color t.v., computers, and not riding to school on a dinosaur when I was their age.
  • The cable company will not see the black-and-white viewing as the emergency we feel it is, and will take days to send someone out to fix it.
  • Shopping is the best therapy for a rough week.
  • Favorite thing this week: Seeing a movie all by myself and LOVING it.

sicker than sick

Well, it's been a crazy 24 hours.

For those of you who haven't heard, my Josh is one sick puppy. Wednesday night he came home from work and was feverish, felt terrible, and had a RAW sore throat.

Thursday morning he woke up, still was feverish, still felt terrible. He made himself a doctor's appointment and told me he was fine enough to drive himself there.

I believed him.

When I hadn't heard from him after his appointment, I called his cell phone to see how it was going. He babbled pretty incoherently and managed to get out, "Come get me." So Hannah and I race to the clinic to pick him up. We find him curled up in a ball, asleep on the exam table, while the doctor is trying to wake him up and give him medication and instructions. He told me that Josh was hallucinating in the office due to his high fever, he had been throwing up, and was pretty out of it. The doctor said it was most likely strep and sent us on our way with an antibiotic.

By about six o'clock last night, he had a fever of 105. He would not wake up very well, was spouting off with all kinds of gibberish (again, the hallucinations). I force-fed him some Motrin and called for a blessing. He didn't even budge when the home teachers came over. Didn't get out of bed, didn't respond, didn't even open his eyes. By this point, I was starting to get a little worried, so I paged the doctor on-call. He told me to take Josh to the emergency room (standard doctor answer when they can't/don't want to deal with you and your sickness after their workday is done). I was still a little doubtful - and not wanting to spend six hours in the ER unnecessarily - so I called my good friend, Vicki, who just happens to be an ER nurse. She came over, took one look at Josh, and calmly told me, "If we can't get him down the stairs, we're going to call the medics. He needs to be seen now."

Luckily, we were able to load him into the car ourselves, and I called another friend to come stay with my kids. Dear, sweet Vicki called ahead to the ER (WHICH WAS ABSOLUTELY PACKED WITH PEOPLE) and when we got there, they had a bed, an IV, and a doctor waiting for us. She stayed with me the entire time (even though it was her night off - she had already worked a full day) and she took great care of us. I am confident that without Vicki, we would have waited about two hours just to get seen; she had us in a room faster than we could blink.

They ran a battery of tests on Josh (blood work, chest x-ray, and lumbar puncture to check for meningitis) - all of which thankfully came back negative. They pumped him full of IV fluid, as well as some IV antibiotics, and some pain medication to help with his throat. It was a little scary, and watching them do the lumbar puncture nearly made me pass out (quite literally - had to go sit in the hall with my head in between my knees until it passed), but otherwise it went okay. Got home at about one o'clock in the morning, so we're pretty tired today.

He is doing so much better though - the fever is down and I am trying to push the liquids so he doesn't get dehydrated again. They think it's just a really severe case of a strep infection that just ravaged his body. Thank heavens it's not something worse.

We are on the mend.

Thanks to all who called with concern. We love that you care.

20 questions



I get so inundated with questions from the little Hannah around here, that I decided to pull out a notebook and pen to document the crazy things that come flying out of her mouth in a given day. Here is a list of questions said to me in the last 24 hours by Hannah:

  • Is it time for breakfast?
  • What does 'insane' mean?
  • Mommy, am I hilarious?
  • Why do you have to cut burritos with a knife?
  • Why do the boys like such dangerous things?
  • Do I have school today?
  • Can I have a nickname that's not silly?
  • What did you just eat?
  • Can you turn on Noggin?
  • Do you like peppers?
  • Why does Chase worry about me?
  • Can you get me a drink QUICK? Cause my mouth is all spaghettio-ish.
  • When can I get a baby sister?
  • Can I dance at my wedding?
  • Will I be cute when I'm all growned up?
  • Can I have a snack?
  • Why didn't you open this new box of rice krispies, you silly?
  • Can you play with me?
  • What's for dinner?
  • Will you give me a kiss and a hug?
    • As you can see, never a dull moment around here.

      Never a quiet one, either.