Not today

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I am feeling a bit down today. I just got home from a fantastic weekend with my adorable husband. Nothing like a kid-free weekend to remind you why you fell in love with him in the first place. I don't think I have laughed so much (at so little) for a long time. We stayed up late, we slept in, we ate a whole pan of brownies, we shopped, and we were just together.

But with the end of the glorious weekend comes the let-down of leaving him, and the weight of the next two months looming over my shoulders. I don't know why, but today all of this has hit me. The move, the separation, the travel back and forth, the new start, the new house, the new friends, the lonely week where you have no friends, all the work, and all the things that need to be done. And I can't help but wish it was over. I just want to fast forward through the next two months and be done already. I want our family to be together. I want us to be HOME. I have a new found respect for my friend, Jackie, who sent her husband off to Iraq for over a year. I don't know HOW she did it. (And I recognize that I have very little room to complain.)

But, like I always do, I will pick myself up by the bootstraps and move forward. I will try my best to be patient with my kids when I have no one to take them off my hands and give me a break. I will not think about how lonely it is every night. I will not cry about things I cannot change. I will not grumble when I am sitting at baseball games all alone. I will not waste our last few months in this perfect paradise. I will be positive. I will work efficiently and get us organized to move. I will make it easy for my husband to be alone as well. I will.

Just maybe not today.

I'm in heaven...

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Got here safe and sound in St. Louis last night. Spent a lovely kid-free evening with my husband who I haven't seen in over a week, stayed up late watching me some Letterman, and slept until almost ten a.m. (in my defense, it was eight body-time).

On the schedule today? Some furniture shopping and browsing of granite counter tops.

Rough day, huh?

(The mother in me feels a little bit guilty knowing that my in-laws are hard at work tending my kids while I'm here lounging it up.)

Have a great day, everyone. Most of all Oma and Opa...hope the kids are being good.

A matching set

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All I have to say is that we survived Friday (barely). Saturday was declared a Pajama Day, and I spent most of it trying to recover in bed. Sunday, we woke up and both Chase and Hannah were running fevers and having ear pain. Immediately ruled out church and made a doctor's appointment.

Diagnosis? Matching ear infections.

Present state of mind: SERENITY NOW (insanity later).

Trying not to dwell on it, but we are really missing Josh around here. He left early Saturday morning for St. Louis, and starts the new job today. I just want to fast-forward through until June and be done already. I know we'll get used to it, but the first few days are always the worst.

There. Done whining. Looking forward to a better week (can't be worse than last week, right?). Right.

P.S. Happy birthday, Mom! Thinking of you on this beautiful spring morning and wishing you a very happy day.

One more thing...

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Because one cannot POSSIBLY expect to end such a bad day like today on a good note:

Hannah's hair caught fire when she was blowing out her birthday candles.

Yes, you read that right. She was leaning over her cake and a stray section of hair fell into a still-lit candle. Josh and I both immediately started smacking her in the face to put out the fire. Which did not help her less-than-peaceful state of mind at the moment.

She is fine, didn't lose too much hair, and did not get burned (thank goodness!) She summed it up best (through her tears) when she said, "I HATE days like today."

Amen, little sister, amen.

How to be me today: Step-by-step instructions

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  1. Wake up feeling horribly, terribly sick. Choose to spend the day in bed moaning about how sick you are.
  2. Be driven from your cozy bed by a giddy Hannah jumping on your phlegm-filled chest, begging to open her birthday presents (we're celebrating today as Josh will be gone next week on her actual birthday).
  3. Try to keep head up and resist desire to drown yourself in bowl of pancake batter. Cook half the batter and be chastised by the children for forgetting to add the chocolate chips.
  4. Sigh, and dump half a bag of chocolate chips on their plates instead.
  5. Forget to coordinate how to get children to school (since Josh has an early morning doctor's appointment that runs extra long and you do not have another car).
  6. Have children enter frenzied mental state over being late to school and decide to just push Hannah in the stroller, and have them ride scooters to school. An hour late.
  7. Witness Chase fall down - not once - but twice, leaving him with a scraped face and scratched up knees. Dry his tears and beg him to stay at school and tough it out.
  8. Arrive in the office and have uptight school secretary criticize you for your lateness.
  9. Get mad and point out that this is the FIRST TIME EVER that your children have been late to school. So BACK OFF, lady.
  10. Don't feel one bit bad when she looks at you with hate-filled daggers.
  11. Come home to find husband ready to be driven to work.
  12. Take husband to work.
  13. Have husband realize once you've arrived at his office that he has forgotten his ID badge.
  14. Go home and hunt for ID badge.
  15. Take husband his ID badge.
  16. Rush back home to pick up cupcakes for preschool class.
  17. Take Hannah to preschool and try not to show extreme glee at having 1.75 hours to yourself.
  18. Go to pharmacy to fill husband's prescriptions. Wait 45 minutes.
  19. Get out to car and realize one of the prescriptions is not in the bag.
  20. Go back in pharmacy. Wait in line again to be told that they have to call the doctor and get the correct dosage. Be glad you waited 45 minutes for these prescriptions - since you'll be heading back again anyway.
  21. Go home and have about 400 pages to fax to realtor.
  22. Throw in the first of 20 loads of laundry.
  23. Pick up Hannah from school.
  24. Find her in tears because she got paint on her new birthday dress.
  25. Try not to throw yourself in front of a moving bus.
  26. Take Hannah to get her ears pierced for her birthday, thus ending her two-years of constant begging.
  27. Have Hannah burst into tears with the first ear and refuse to finish.
  28. Show Hannah how pretty she looks and convince her to finish other ear. Pay for the privilege of making your child cry.
  29. Run to car in the rain.
  30. Drive home.
  31. Plunk her down in front of the television.
  32. Have exactly eight minutes to yourself before heading out to pick up the boys from school.
  33. Make to-do list that includes: Finish laundry, clean house, make birthday cake, pull out suitcases for husband who leaves tomorrow, call floor contractor, and find something to eat for special birthday dinner.
  34. Decide to do none of the above.
  35. Take four Motrin.
  36. Pray you can make it through until bedtime.
  37. Blog.