Not today

I am feeling a bit down today. I just got home from a fantastic weekend with my adorable husband. Nothing like a kid-free weekend to remind you why you fell in love with him in the first place. I don't think I have laughed so much (at so little) for a long time. We stayed up late, we slept in, we ate a whole pan of brownies, we shopped, and we were just together.

But with the end of the glorious weekend comes the let-down of leaving him, and the weight of the next two months looming over my shoulders. I don't know why, but today all of this has hit me. The move, the separation, the travel back and forth, the new start, the new house, the new friends, the lonely week where you have no friends, all the work, and all the things that need to be done. And I can't help but wish it was over. I just want to fast forward through the next two months and be done already. I want our family to be together. I want us to be HOME. I have a new found respect for my friend, Jackie, who sent her husband off to Iraq for over a year. I don't know HOW she did it. (And I recognize that I have very little room to complain.)

But, like I always do, I will pick myself up by the bootstraps and move forward. I will try my best to be patient with my kids when I have no one to take them off my hands and give me a break. I will not think about how lonely it is every night. I will not cry about things I cannot change. I will not grumble when I am sitting at baseball games all alone. I will not waste our last few months in this perfect paradise. I will be positive. I will work efficiently and get us organized to move. I will make it easy for my husband to be alone as well. I will.

Just maybe not today.