4:00 a.m.: Wake up to awful, THUNDERING, wall-shaking snoring, and find Hannah in my bed. Wonder how something so small could make such a big noise.
4:01 a.m.: Take Hannah back to bed. Stumble, and step on large Darth Vader head and hear "Psh hsh...Luke...I am your father." Go back to bed swearing under my breath.
5:30 a.m.: Have the entire house woken up by Chase's loud, persistent, and annoying cough.
6:30 a.m.: Be told by Hannah that I am "berry, berry mean" because I got mad at her last night when she wouldn't stay in her bed.
7:00 a.m.: Be reminded by McKay that he has STAR testing this week and needs a "BIG" breakfast (i.e., something other than Eggo waffles, our standby).
7:45 a.m.: Finish cleaning up BIG breakfast and begin sorting laundry.
7:47 a.m.: Argue with Hannah for 20 minutes for refusing to let her wear a turtleneck and long pants (after all, it was 95 degrees today).
8:07 a.m.: Take McKay to school (as Chase's loud, persistent, and annoying cough is going to keep him home "sick," which is really just code for "don't want to go to school today and am going to use this little cough to get out of it").
8:10 a.m.: Have a vigorous run on the treadmill to try and burn some steam.
10:00 a.m.: Drop Hannah off at preschool.
10:01 a.m.: Drag "sick" Chase with me on errands. Be looked at crossly in every store because of his loud, persistent, and annoying cough.
11:45 a.m.: Pick up Hannah.
12:00 p.m.: Lunch and "Nap rest time" (a.k.a., LEAVE MOM ALONE TIME)
2:00 p.m.: Find Hannah standing on counters poised to pour cupcake sprinkles into her hand. Tell her to please put them back.
2:01 p.m.: Have Hannah give the evil eye, turn, and watch helplessly as she dumps entire contents of cupcake sprinkles into her hands (and thus onto the floor).
2:02 p.m.: Put Hannah in time out (where she reminds me again just how "berry, berry mean I am.") Be impervious to her criticism. Hold the swear words in this time.
2:03 p.m.: Sweep and mop entire kitchen floor. Worry that sprinkles have found their way under the fridge and are currently drawing armies of ants. Spray 409 under fridge in an attempt to make any sprinkles less appetizing to potential ant armies.
2:38 p.m.: Pick McKay up from school. Have Chase roll down his window and announce to all the children and parents passing by just how "sick" he was today.
2:40 p.m.: Try not to poke eyeballs out with car keys.
5:00 p.m.: Suffer through until dinner, baths, and story time.
5:45 p.m.: Put the children in bed (I know, I know, but tough. I'm all alone and I've had it. The boys read until 7:30 or so, and Hannah immediately falls asleep.)
5:47 p.m.: Validate yourself for putting Hannah down early, as clearly she was wiped.
6:00 p.m.: Remember the 20 loads of laundry waiting to be folded.
6:01 p.m.: Ignore laundry and take a bubble bath.