One more thing...

Because one cannot POSSIBLY expect to end such a bad day like today on a good note:

Hannah's hair caught fire when she was blowing out her birthday candles.

Yes, you read that right. She was leaning over her cake and a stray section of hair fell into a still-lit candle. Josh and I both immediately started smacking her in the face to put out the fire. Which did not help her less-than-peaceful state of mind at the moment.

She is fine, didn't lose too much hair, and did not get burned (thank goodness!) She summed it up best (through her tears) when she said, "I HATE days like today."

Amen, little sister, amen.

How to be me today: Step-by-step instructions

1. Wake up feeling horribly, terribly sick. Choose to spend the day in bed moaning about how sick you are.
2. Be driven from your cozy bed by a giddy Hannah jumping on your phlegm-filled chest, begging to open her birthday presents (we're celebrating today as Josh will be gone next week on her actual birthday).
3. Try to keep head up and resist desire to drown yourself in bowl of pancake batter. Cook half the batter and be chastised by the children for forgetting to add the chocolate chips.
4. Sigh, and dump half a bag of chocolate chips on their plates instead.
5. Forget to coordinate how to get children to school (since Josh has an early morning doctor's appointment that runs extra long and you do not have another car).
6. Have children enter frenzied mental state over being late to school and decide to just push Hannah in the stroller, and have them ride scooters to school. An hour late.
7. Witness Chase fall down - not once - but twice, leaving him with a scraped face and scratched up knees. Dry his tears and beg him to stay at school and tough it out.
8. Arrive in the office and have uptight school secretary criticize you for your lateness.
9. Get mad and point out that this is the FIRST TIME EVER that your children have been late to school. So BACK OFF, lady.
10. Don't feel one bit bad when she looks at you with hate-filled daggers.
11. Come home to find husband ready to be driven to work.
12. Take husband to work.
13. Have husband realize once you've arrived at his office that he has forgotten his ID badge.
14. Go home and hunt for ID badge.
15. Take husband his ID badge.
16. Rush back home to pick up cupcakes for preschool class.
17. Take Hannah to preschool and try not to show extreme glee at having 1.75 hours to yourself.
18. Go to pharmacy to fill husband's prescriptions. Wait 45 minutes.
19. Get out to car and realize one of the prescriptions is not in the bag.
20. Go back in pharmacy. Wait in line again to be told that they have to call the doctor and get the correct dosage. Be glad you waited 45 minutes for these prescriptions - since you'll be heading back again anyway.
21. Go home and have about 400 pages to fax to realtor.
22. Throw in the first of 20 loads of laundry.
23. Pick up Hannah from school.
24. Find her in tears because she got paint on her new birthday dress.
25. Try not to throw yourself in front of a moving bus.
26. Take Hannah to get her ears pierced for her birthday, thus ending her two-years of constant begging.
27. Have Hannah burst into tears with the first ear and refuse to finish.
28. Show Hannah how pretty she looks and convince her to finish other ear. Pay for the privilege of making your child cry.
29. Run to car in the rain.
30. Drive home.
31. Plunk her down in front of the television.
32. Have exactly eight minutes to yourself before heading out to pick up the boys from school.
33. Make to-do list that includes: Finish laundry, clean house, make birthday cake, pull out suitcases for husband who leaves tomorrow, call floor contractor, and find something to eat for special birthday dinner.
34. Decide to do none of the above.
35. Take four Motrin.
36. Pray you can make it through until bedtime.
37. Blog.

War games

Right now my kids are playing their favorite game - World War II. The boys have recently become obsessed with the details of World War II. They ask questions like, "Just how many trenches did the soldiers dig?" and constantly want to know exactly which country was on "our" side. Every day after school and homework, they load up their backpacks, grab their wooden rifles, and recreate the trenches in our living room. Bombs are detonated, generals are saluted, and food is rationed. Hannah is the nurse-in-residence, and does her best to bandage up the wounded men. Every book Chase brings home from the library lately seems to be related to some aspect of World War II.

I love that they've taken a real interest in history and feel no need to step in and end their violent imaginary play. (Although we have spent a great deal of time focusing on the fact that Germany is now our friend, and we love all German people - a truth they cheerfully accept).

It has only become a little embarrassing at the park, however, when they yell ever-so-loudly, "Look out, it's a German. Kill him! Kill him!"

But I bury my nose in my book, try to look the other way, and make sure to call Oma and Opa when we get home and have a good laugh about it.

Wonder what we'll be into next?

Always look on the bright side...

So in preparation for the Great Move of 2007, we are now a one-car family. We waved goodbye to Josh's car at the transport parking lot last week. We could have rented a car, but we really felt like it was silly. It's only for two weeks - ten total school days. I mean, come on, he works like ten minutes from here, and the kids force me to pick them up on foot from school anyway, so why spend the money? There have been moments it's been a little painful, but I thought I'd make a list citing all the positive things about not having a car:

1. I am forced into getting more exercise (because 45 minutes on the treadmill is never enough to cancel out my predilection for cookie dough).
2. All that cookie dough I am fond of eating just might get burned off instead of turning to lard on my thighs.
3. I get loads of fresh air (that is also unfortunately chock-full of pollen, sigh).
4. My heart gets a workout when I nearly go into cardiac arrest every time a lizard darts out in front of the stroller (which averages about 17 times each day).
5. My calves get a workout when I am forced to suddenly stop so I don't run over Chase who has dumped his scooter to try and catch said lizards (also about 17 times each day).
6. I am much more agile when dodging the SUVs and seven-series BMWs driven maniacally by the high school students than I would be in a car.
7. My freckles are multiplying due to all my time walking out in the sun (I am hoping this brings me closer to my goal of someday having them merge into one giant freckle, thus ridding me of them entirely).
8. My kids are running, scootering, and biking every day.
9. It gives McKay and I lots of quality time to discuss weapons and video games.
10. I have no fear of getting speeding tickets (course, truth be told, I am not the one in our family who is known to speed).
11. It keeps me out of the mall and prevents me from spending all my husband's money (which according to Stiesta-Economics, nets us a profit this week of $400 by virtue of my not spending what I would have spent).
12. I get time to listen and answer all 4,509 questions Hannah has floating around her head.
13. We're helping the environment by not using up all the extra gas it would take to cart Josh back and forth to work (which really makes Chase one happy little camper).

Mating in the Lord's House?

Said by Chase in the middle of church today after he pulled two small, plastic frogs out of his shirt pocket:

"Mom, see these frogs? This one is a male; this one is a female. This is how they mate. The male gets on top of the female like this..."

"Uh, that's great, Chase. I just don't know if this is the best time for that. Let's put the frogs away....um'kay?"

"But it's what THEY DO!"

"Yes, I'm sure it's what they do; they just don't do it in church."

Not old enough

Chase came running in, breathless, to find me. "Mom, you HAVE to get this thing I just saw on t.v. It is SO IMPORTANT."

"Okay, Chase. What is it?" (Thinking it was some must-have toy).

"It's this new thing that will protect you. It's called Life Alert. If you fall on the ground or have a heart attack - IT WILL CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT FOR YOU. You need this, Mom. It even says if you have diet beating. " (I think he means diabetes, because I am not by any means beating my diet like I should be).

"Wow, Chase. That sounds great. But I don't really think we need that just yet."

McKay smugly walks into the room, "See, Chase, I told you that was for way old people. Mom's not old enough yet."

So glad I have a few years before I need Life Alert, and glad that when I finally do, Chase will hook me up.